Billboard Bliss

I was driving along the other day and this billboard caught my eye. I don't remember getting paid for it. Come to think of it, I don't recall the photo shoot, either. But, to be honest, I barely recall what I had for supper last night. So that's no surprise.

Anyway, it's pretty cool being up there. I've always wanted to be up in lights. Or at least large and looming on a wall. I'm just a tad concerned about the message: Rescue Me. Yeah, I need rescuing, but isn't that a bit personal? Like printing Unemployed Actor. That bit's not cool. Not cool at all.

I don't think I like my billboard any more. I'll get them to take it down. Rescue shmescue. And why do I look all dejected? Look at my posture. It's positively suicidal. Oh man. I'm gonna jump...

Don't jump, Gideon! Don't jump!

Hang on. I'm not really up there. Why am I shouting at a billboard. It's not even a billboard. It's my computer screen I'm shouting at. Ah, silly me...

What's that? (sorry - someone is talking over my shoulder)
Not me? What do you mean it's not me?
Shut the $%@** up! It's clearly m--

Wait a minute. You might be right. My nose does look different. That's not me at all!

Oh, I see what's going on here. They used a photo double. That's why they didn't pay me! Sneaky bastards.

I'm calling my lawyer...