Thursday, May 17, 2007

And He made Man (-ish)

As a part of my ongoing mission to bring you the latest grammar maladies, I present to you the following casting breakdown, posted earlier today:

Mr Earth USA Candidates

Lead / Male / All Ethnicities / 18 - 35 /
Were looking for a male candidate who are intrested in having the title of MR. EARTH USA 2007. He will symbolyses the masculinity of man at any angle of ethnicity, and to show the flexibility of man towards different issues in life.

The Candidates chosen to become the next Mr. Earth - USA Pageant 2007 should have the characteristic of attaining their own individualism, intelligence, talent and leadership. By this, he’ll create a once in a lifetime experience; his life will be forever change and will make a difference in touching the life of others.

I don't know about you, but Mr Earth isn't bad. I'd put it somewhere between Mr America and Mr Universe. Also, I think I've attained my own intelligence and I've been looking for a forever change.

Cool. Interested? Check.

Next step: to symbolyses the masculinity of the equipment...check.

Now the hard part. To do that at any angle of ethnicity!

Hmmm... Tricky one, kids. Tricky.

I guess one could be masculine from most angles but, in all fairness, even the most butch guy can look a little girly when he's sleeping in fetal position, walking a very small fluffy dog, or delicately picking at a Caesar salad. Wait a second - he's gotta be masculine at any angle of ethnicity! Whether black, white, asian or mixed race, sporting dreads, crewcut, afro or bald - he must be masculine from any angle and, presumably, all of the above SIMULTANEOUSLY!

Think of the layering, the make-up, the dizzying choreography...

It's a tall order. No wonder they're offering a first prize of $1000 for the ultimate multi-ethnic macho man. Oh- and the "possibility" of a 6 month modeling contract. I'm in! I'm gonna have a Chinese face, mixed race legs, white arms and a black torso (all the way down). Waaaaait - what's this?

Audition Note
Please bring a beach wear for proper screening of candidates

Oh man, I just KNEW there'd be a catch. I don't have a beach wear. And why do I have to screen candidates? Is this for the position of judge? Why can't I wear an office wear? Maybe this isn't the competition for me. I could do with the $1000, but let's get real here. I'll never win.

I can spell.

Friday, May 11, 2007

The costmer is always right?

Its sad when you have to say goodye to a loved one. I love my car, but not so much after my local mechanic, Sam, quoted me $890 for repairs. I said I didn't have 890 bucks to spend - what was most urgent? "well, it's all urgent". Wonderful, I said. What's the MOST urgent? I can pay you for the most urgent part of that yummy lumpsum, or go somewhere else. I'm sure you can find one thing to fix. Sam gave it some thought, and managed to russle up $188 for 2 radiator hoses, antifreeze and labor.


I just knew he could rise to the challenge.

Best of all, I now have a concise report of what repairs are outstanding:

"ECT sensore is foulty. Engine mount are came af part advise. The costmer."

I kid you not. Now, I don't know what to be more concerned about - Sam's grammar or his scare tactics. The engine mounts "are came af part"? Pretty scary stuff. Also, that's past tense, isn't it? This already happened, so my engine must be lying on a stretch of tarmac on Ventura Blvd somewhere. Meanwhile, my car is still driving. Not bad. No engine = no emissions, right? I may have the first inadvertant hybrid. Shoot, I'm beyond hybrid. I don't need ANY gas to power a car with no engine. Think of the money I'm going to save. Cool! I'm feeling pretty darn peachy now.

On a side note, last week AT&T offered Emery Gidoen the oportunity to switch to their new improved telephone service. Sounds great. If I come across Mr Gidoen, I'll certainly pass the info along...

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

The Battle Begins

Well, our little 4min mini-episode of Battlestar Gallactica is up online, as the featured video on's
Battlestar Gallactica page.

Or you can access the movie directly here. Please drop in and take a look and if you like it, post a comment. We had a blast shooting it and, with some luck, may get to see it on the TV one day...

I would post an image here, except Blogger seems to be having issues with uploaded photos. I tried repeatedly to upload a jpeg and comes up with an error message saying "only jpeg" format. Huh? I'll upload when I can.

Thanks for reading and thanks for watching!

EDIT: Lindsey - thanks for letting me know about the problem link!


Saturday, May 5, 2007


Thanks for the comments on my last post! Great to know you're out there!

It's been a little quiet, so I thought I'd be productive. I stumbled across a challenge on, to come up with your own mini episode of Battlestar Gallactica. Basically you have a max of 4 min to showcase your creative effort, which can be enhanced with actual sound and video clips from the show. When you're done, upload it and, if approved, they post it online. Best part is, producer David Eick will choose one entry to be aired during an episode of the show!

So I turned off the computer and wrote a piece. Buddy Phil Miller lit and shot it for me, and talented actors James Babson and Ana Alexander jumped on board. We filmed in an oil change bay, essentially, which could have been deep inside Gallactica, for all anyone knows. I think it turned out pretty well. Lemme know what you think. The premise is deliberately absurd, but the goal was to treat it seriously. I can't post the vid here or anywhere else for that matter, as the rules stipulate that all entries exclusively belong to scifi. However, I can give you the link to where it will (hopefully) appear.

This will take you to the sci-fi Battlestar Gallactica page. The videos appear as thumbnails. Look out for our one called REVELATION. If you like it, please post a comment on the site. You could help us get on the air!

Thanks again and have a great weekend! Gid.