Thursday, May 17, 2007

And He made Man (-ish)

As a part of my ongoing mission to bring you the latest grammar maladies, I present to you the following casting breakdown, posted earlier today:

Mr Earth USA Candidates

Lead / Male / All Ethnicities / 18 - 35 /
Were looking for a male candidate who are intrested in having the title of MR. EARTH USA 2007. He will symbolyses the masculinity of man at any angle of ethnicity, and to show the flexibility of man towards different issues in life.

The Candidates chosen to become the next Mr. Earth - USA Pageant 2007 should have the characteristic of attaining their own individualism, intelligence, talent and leadership. By this, he’ll create a once in a lifetime experience; his life will be forever change and will make a difference in touching the life of others.

I don't know about you, but Mr Earth isn't bad. I'd put it somewhere between Mr America and Mr Universe. Also, I think I've attained my own intelligence and I've been looking for a forever change.

Cool. Interested? Check.

Next step: to symbolyses the masculinity of the equipment...check.

Now the hard part. To do that at any angle of ethnicity!

Hmmm... Tricky one, kids. Tricky.

I guess one could be masculine from most angles but, in all fairness, even the most butch guy can look a little girly when he's sleeping in fetal position, walking a very small fluffy dog, or delicately picking at a Caesar salad. Wait a second - he's gotta be masculine at any angle of ethnicity! Whether black, white, asian or mixed race, sporting dreads, crewcut, afro or bald - he must be masculine from any angle and, presumably, all of the above SIMULTANEOUSLY!

Think of the layering, the make-up, the dizzying choreography...

It's a tall order. No wonder they're offering a first prize of $1000 for the ultimate multi-ethnic macho man. Oh- and the "possibility" of a 6 month modeling contract. I'm in! I'm gonna have a Chinese face, mixed race legs, white arms and a black torso (all the way down). Waaaaait - what's this?

Audition Note
Please bring a beach wear for proper screening of candidates

Oh man, I just KNEW there'd be a catch. I don't have a beach wear. And why do I have to screen candidates? Is this for the position of judge? Why can't I wear an office wear? Maybe this isn't the competition for me. I could do with the $1000, but let's get real here. I'll never win.

I can spell.


  1. Holy ayatollah! It's Basch!

  2. actually, it's Balthier - but close. lol!

  3. Gideon rocks the globe with his Balthier performance!

    padapapadaa, I'm lovin' it

    Yet another FF fan. (Arent you getting sick of this? :))

    Vriendelijke groet!

  4. That Mr Earth was sounding too easy, and then to find out that folks like you and I are overqualified... Tsk. Wouldn't be worth the effort, anyway.