Barely Functioning

This morning, I poured cereal into my coffee cup. Do I prefer it that way? No. Am I on a strict diet? No. Am I having a stupid day? Quite possibly. What joys are in store for me, after starting the day like this? Only time will tell...and this blog.

It could be the pineapple juice I had last night. With vodka. There was a time when I was drinking fit. I could have a couple of beers, multiple shooters and still conduct a lucid conversation and (irresponsibly) get home. That time is long gone. I simply don't train any more. I barely drink twice a month, so when I do, it's a strain.

As with any exercise, a warm-up is essential if you're going to push heavy. Start with a Rock Shandy or light beer, perhaps. After that, you're ready to ease into a few sets of Guinness or white wine spritzers. Then (and only then) should you attempt your heaviest reps of clear liquors. Or go for a one rep maximum with a straight-up shot of Tequila or Jack Daniels.

Now I will take my leave and finish cleaning up the kitchen after pouring an espresso onto a side plate. It was all going well until I tried to add the sugar...