Monday, June 2, 2008

Cars, Birds and Fred's Cousin

The past 10 days have been interesting and, starved for content, I thought I'd share them with you. First I was on hold for a movie for a supporting role. Great! Three weeks of work in June. Then I was called back to read for one of the leads - fabulous. And on Friday I was told via my agent that I "won't be going any further". (The casting director didn't specify if that meant 'in your career' or if her comments were restricted to this particular job.) Hopefully the latter.

Fresh from my let down, I set out on my bicycle, only to have something thrown at me by a woman on a balcony. I specify gender simply because I like to believe that women are beyond such filthy antics. While I don't think it was intentional, it was nevertheless upsetting, especially when I ran my hand through my hair and discovered the "item" had not only clung to my head, but was in liquid form. Some anonymous woman spat on me.

Yesterday I returned to my bicycle to discover that a bird (quite possibly assisted by a number of brethren) had relieved itself on my helmet. Not an unsightly cue ball splotch on the outside that would be visible to passers by. Oh no. This feathered wretch had deposited its business inside my helmet, so only I would know the nastiness cradling my bothered brain.

For the past 4 days, my left eye has been twitching involuntarily. The later in the day, the more it twitches. At first, it was fairly mild and would come and go. However, the past 24hrs have been particularly twitchy. I feel a little (more) conspicuous in public. It's bad enough I look like the creepy guy - the twitchy eye seals the deal! I'd put it down to a couple of late nights and too much TV, but it may have something to do with Fred's cousin.

Today I returned to my friendly auto mechanic Fred to deal with an overheating problem, a mere 2 weeks after a service that set me back $650. The day after that service, the engine light came on (permanently) , the car started overheating and I discovered the door handle they had replaced was missing its rubber seal and subsequently an area of scratched paintwork was exposed. Fred's cousin had done the work, so perhaps I should have anticipated a different level of service.

Fred's cousin happily informed me that he can fix the overheating problem. I just need a new thermostat, new hoses and oh yes - a new radiator. Grand total? $600. Oh- and he threw away the rubber seal, so will try to cover the door handle with touch up paint. (Insert twitch)

I must confess that I was a little abrupt with Fred's cousin, possibly insinuating that he and Fred were trying to fleece me and I couldn't afford it and what the heck, Fred's cousin, I just paid you guys 650 bucks, you're killing me here! But I quickly (and nauseatingly) came to the realization that while I didn't (and for the record, still don't) want to cough up the dough for the repairs, I can't really drive a car that overheats after 5 minutes. It can't possibly get better by itself, no matter how gently I massage it's flagging ego.

Where does all this leave me? Well, $1250 in the hole and 8 hours spent farting around Burbank while Fred's cousin tinkers under my hood and dreams of ways to spend my hard earned cash. (Or more accurately my 'credit' - thank you Visa, you're a true friend)

On the upside, that movie I shot in Prague nearly 4 years ago, which I can't talk about, finally sees the light of day - or more accurately the light of one theater on June 14. For one grand showing. Oh- and I had the delight (no sarcasm here) of working on George Lucas' Clone Wars series, which I also can't talk about. Oh- and Fred's cousin just called to say my car is ready.

Ready for what?

Ready for a sound beating!

Who's been a bad Volvo?

**twitch twitch**


  1. The myth is that "Bird droppings on your shoulder bring good luck." In your helmet, doubly so? Though I tend to side with this author.

    Perhaps a bird giving you "good luck" in your helmet is more of a sign that your mechanic and his cousin are fleecing you on car repairs.

  2. Wow, and I thought I was having a bad day!Birds poop in your helmet-lol! Been there and done that,so I can sympathize. The same goes for the car trouble, just not to your extent. I too had the check engine light come on and stay on, but luckily mine was due to me being an idiot and not closing the gas cap after fueling up. As for the rather rude lady who spit on you-shame on her for doing that whether intentional or not.

    I would also like to say that I am a fan of GH and thought you did a marvelous job as Jax. I was one of the people who posted an appreciation thread in your honor on the official message board at, and now that I know you were on the Clone set-makes me that much more in awe since I am a Star Wars fan.
    Best of Luck and I hope to be seeing you soon on my tv or movie theater screen!


  3. You're involved with Clone Wars!? Well that sure makes me a lot more excited about it than I was before.

    I'm sorry you've had such a bad run of luck recently! Hopefully things will pick up soon. Bummer about that one movie... I want to see you on the big screen!

  4. Good lord, I thought I was the only one having a month like this (although I must admit that no one has spat or shat on my head)....However, my old Mertz and I currently have a love/hate relationship going on with Fred's cousin's uncle Norville.

    I think you need to find a penguin and have lunch with it.