I have only one of each. But that's clearly one too many.
After waking up with a stiff back for months, I finally decided I should visit the chiropractor. I did consider a trip in June, but the thought of spending hundreds of $$$ put paid to that idea. More accurately, it was put to bed. My bed. My fancy 8-month old pillow-top bed. I had a suspicion that it was too soft and now it's confirmed. For the best part of a year I've been buggering up my back. Fabulous. I have to buy a new mattress. I suppose I could have replaced the mattress myself, avoided the chiro and saved myself 50%.
On a lighter note (that damn mattress takes 2 to tango), I am still with beard. I realize "with beard" is not quite the same as "with child", but it has a couple of similarities. Firstly, everyone can see it and secondly, everyone feels compelled to say something.
"Ooh, you need a shave" (yup)
"What's that for?" (my face? christmas? your mom?)
"Beards are stupid" (yes, i suppose they are)
The hair is for the movie I just wrapped, of course and I'm waiting for clearance. In the meantime, I'm trying to keep it looking neat, but it's still a little scraggly. I'm just not a hairy kinda guy. I'm also compelled to toy with the damn thing. I catch myself stroking it like a little puppy. Once in a while I even feed it. (Though not intentionally) A friend said I looked like a mountain man when he saw me. Thing is, I don't have any mountain man gear. No flannel shirt. No dungarees. No axe.
My beard isn't even a decent disguise. Only yesterday, a woman said I looked like Denis Leary. I've never seen Denis with a beard, but I guess if he had one, he'd look like me. On the upside, she did day I was better looking. Take that, Mr Leary.
Well, I'd better be off. Have an audition to prep - crazy guy who thinks he's turning into a monster. And after that, it's a choice between Neil from Leeds Mattress and "you're killing me, Larry". I might go for Neil. Larry seems like a violent guy. I could probably take him, but what with the cumbersome beard and bad back...