Sunday, September 6, 2009

Diapers


We've been going through a heatwave in California and I realize that heat can drive people to do things they wouldn't ordinarily do. Like wander out at midnight because they can't sleep. Cover themselves with fake tattoos. Play the kazoo and enjoy it. The list goes on. I've found myself doing more online shopping. Daft really, considering it keeps me at home in the stale heat of my apartment. There's something very wrong with the fact you can return home late in the day when the heat has finally subsided, only to open your door to an oven. Very wrong.

Even more wrong is the strong probability that my landlord thinks I wear nappies. What could possibly give him that idea? Perhaps it was the large box which arrived yesterday, emblazened with the words DIAPERS.COM. If I did in fact order diapers, I would ensure they arrived in something a little less conspicuous. The actual item was a stand for my laptop. It's a used item, so Daddy56 (or NewMom29) figured he'd just drop it into whatever was handy. "Too big...too small...ooh, wait. Honey, do we still have that big diaper box? You know, the one that says diaper that you can read from like a mile away? We do? Cool."

Now I get to endure endless chuckles and sniggers whenever I enter or leave my apartment. (I should mention that I am sans child and my landlord is fully aware of that) I could explain the real contents of the box. "Oh and by the way, that box? The one with with DIAPER on the side? Funny story, but that actually had something else inside it. No, really. Haha. Alright, then. Have a good day, now."

But what would be the point? Would YOU believe me? Probably not. It's not like I can prove that the stand actually came from the box. Even worse, I distinctly recall being excited when the landlord gave me the package. I thanked him warmly and ran upstairs! No doubt to slip into something more comfortable!

4 comments:

  1. Oh, now you've got to use it to mess with them. Start ordering things from companies with questionable names, just for the boxes. enema.com, plussizedpanties.org, sandmrus.net...
    (I'm just guessing names here, I wouldn't suggest actually going to any of these sites...)

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  2. Your body is stronger than I saw you on Burn Notice...great job!And you have an amazing voice,too.
    Hmm,before I watched the movie 'Easy Virtue',I thought you were the man on the poster....But I later realized he was Ben,not you...you guys look so alike!

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  3. i love that i am a girl i will like to kiss you

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  4. I later realized he was Ben,not you...you guys look so alike!

    gclub

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