World News Headlines (ish)

There's been a break since my last post and, being short of my own news, here are my choice pickings of others' misfortune from the past week........


From a recent casting breakdown

Mila - Lead / FEMALE / 5 TO 7
Helpful Skills - Must be able to do a speak impediment.
Mila (lead) - Long, blond hair, and big, expressive eyes

You gotta watch out for those speak impediments, folks!

HOLMES' UNCLE BLASTS CRUISE ROMANCE.

KATIE HOLMES' uncle insists her family are far from happy with their daughter's new romance, and even less thrilled about her involvement in Cruise's chosen Scientology religion.

And FRITZ even went so far as to bad mouth his niece's new love to a family friend, according to this week's (ends24JUN05) NATIONAL ENQUIRER magazine - while Holmes is away promoting her new movie BATMAN BEGINS.

A pal, MIKE SITTER, who is a fellow parishioner at the Holmes family's Toledo, Ohio church, says, "Katie's uncle Fritz said he reckons it (relationship) will only last a couple of months because of the age gap. "He approached me and said, 'So what do you make of this Tom and Katie business? I think Tom seems like a real jerk. I give it 60 days.'" .

It's good to know I'm not the only one...

And my favourite for the week, c/o Webindia123.com:

Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria is happy that the Los Angeles Police are trying to provide extra security to her, as she is terrified each time a photographer tries to capture her image in her intimate surroundings.
The actress has admitted that she feels sacred at thought of photographers lurking around her house when she returns home after work.

Lord knows I feel a little sacred too, when I see a camera...

Ice Ice, Baby

Last night I stepped into yesterday and the weather was fine. Part of the audience of "Hit me baby one more time", I got to watch pop stars The Knack, Tommy Tutone, Haddaway and Vanilla Ice LIVE! Ah, the joy... Each group had the opportunity to do their biggest hit and then perform a cover version of a current song. How they've aged, but then who wouldn't have, some 15 to 20 years later? It's been a guilty secret of mine, the fact that I know the lyrics to Ice Ice Baby. What can I tell you? I was white, young and stupid. Now I'm just white and stupid. But have to say that Vanilla, or Rip van Winkle (his real name, apparently) was fabulous, humble and funny. Predictably, the Ice Man won the bout and was thrilled (if a little unsurprised) to have cleaned the floor. Now before you laugh and point, I didn't pay for the event, okay? Yes, I queued to get in, but NO I didn't pay. Let's just leave it there.

Who is Yuri?

As I crossed the street yesterday, I heard a man shout out "hey, Yuri!". At least that's what it sounded like. I spun around to see a bald man in his car, waving and giving me an enthusiastic thumbs-up. Looking around, it was clear that he was, indeed, addressing me. Just why, was not so clear. I am not now, nor have I ever been, called Yuri. Nor have I ever played the role of Yuri. (That goes for both professional and private-in-the-comfort-of-my-own-home performances) Nevertheless, a strange man was excited to see who he thought was Yuri. Really excited. All this prompts a few questions: Who is the real Yuri? Why does he wear my clothes? And what was he doing with "Thumbs-Up" Baldy? Only time will tell...