Western Stage & Eastern Screen

The 50 Hour Theatre Festival that I acted in a few weeks back was a blast. I got to tread the boards at Zombie Joe's Underground in a whirlwind get-your-script-and-learn-it-stage-it-perform-it-in-24hrs blitz. We had 3 performances and, all things considered, it wasn't too bad.

Here's a pic from our little piece, entitled Dr Lox. I played the good doctor, who seemed to be going through some kind of withdrawal. I say "seemed", because it was rather esoteric and my character (like the actor playing him) was quite unstable. The whole Zombie Joe's family are fabulous and my trusty fellow actors were Danielle Larson and Jeffrey Grin. Some fun wordplay, stylistic staging and physical performance. Good to scrape off the old theatre cobwebs!

In other news, a sci-fi thriller that I filmed a while back finally got a Japanese release. It looks pretty cool with the Japanese titles and has a great little trailer. You can check it out RIGHT HERE. Hopefully it will make its way stateside one day soon...

Fix Your Accent

Only in LA would you find a sign offering accent services. Yes, if your accent isn't up to snuff, these guys will fix it for you. I love it. No "perfect your American accent" or "sound like a local in 2 weeks". Just a rude "fix your accent". It's not even aimed at actors, just the public at large. As if anyone stupid enough to read the sign must be in need of help. Your accent sucks and needs fixing. Nice.

Last time I checked, my accent was in good shape and needed no repairs. They should focus on the people I have to deal with every time I call the cable company/gas company/phone company, cos I can't understand half of what they're saying. And it really doesn't matter if the call center is in India or Indiana.

To be fair, being a British South African living in America has taken its toll on me. I say things like "paaass me the waa-duh". I'm neither English nor South African. And I'm hardly American, either. I'm just one big fake accent that becomes whatever it needs to be for the occasion: Russian mobster, home grown terrorist or snooty British talent show judge (I mean, do I really look anything like Simon Cowell?)

Maybe my accent does need fixing after all. I should call these guys. Question is, what exactly happens in a "fix" and how long does it take? Is it like fixing a sandwich or more like fixing your hair? How long does a fix last and is there a 90 day warranty? (I fixed my car and it still isn't fixed!) Is this a one-size-fixes-all kinda fix? And if I am going to pay to fix something that isn't broken in the first place, the least they can offer is a fix with all the fixings!

I like my stuffing and gravy...

I Can't Quite Put My Finger On It

With no news of my own, I thought it only fair to share the story of a Finnish blogger (and computer programmer) who, after losing a finger in a motorbike accident, decided to turn himself into a cyborg.

Well not quite. Jerry Jalava has attached a prosthetic "finger drive" where the digit used to be and can now apparently plug himself quite literally into computers. Kinda cool and creepy at the same time.

I typically prefer the gym over robotic evolvement. But if I had to do a little tinkering, I would build an espresso machine, so I'm never without a fresh cup of coffee. Plus, I wouldn't have to stand in line at Starbucks. Nor would I have to tip the cashier or the "barista" for pressing "pour".

What the heck is that about, anyway? Tipping for a cup of take-out coffee. It's not like they bring it to your table! If I'm tipping for service, why don't I tip my auto mechanic? They really work hard and even have greasy hands to show for their troubles.

Oh wait.

I remember why I don't tip my mechanic...

Very Close Now

You know how you have those feelings sometimes? Feelings that you're really close to getting something? Well, my landlord just informed me that I am "very close now" to getting parking in my building! The only catch is that I've been "very close" for the past 6 months. Before that, I was "number three on the list". He also said he saw me in both "the crocodile movie" and "the vampire".

Splendid. Maybe he'll be inspired to bump me up the list. Or not. Next month, he'll tell me "it was between you and another actor". This guy could have a career in casting. "We really liked you for the parking spot, but the plumber thought you were too creepy."

Thanks for the comments from those of you who watched my vamp stint. It was probably the most fun I've had on set to date. Coincidentally, my CSI:NY appearance aired earlier that day on Spike. Naturally, I discovered that after the fact. Probably just as well. A double dose of creepy Gid could cause irreparable damage.

Creepy or not, hopefully my next job is a little closer than my parking spot...

The Moonlight Shines Again

After some mindless surfing on the net, I stumbled upon the fact that Moonlight is screening on the Sci-Fi channel. For those of you who didn't catch me the first time, or anyone crazy enough to go for a second helping, 'my episode' of Moonlight is on Sci-Fi this Friday @9pm.

I thought it was a great little show that really didn't have a chance to build its audience. If you like a little romance and aren't scared of a little blood, then you won't be disappointed. Oh yeah, and if you like vampires, you'll like it too. Please be sure to watch beyond the opening scene execution, unlike some of my friends the first time around. I might be coming back...

When the only news is the state of the economy and supervillain-du-jour Octomom's new "octo-lair" (as Fox "News" calls it), don't you deserve a little fantasy escape? And what better day than Friday the 13th...

Another Stage

With the disappearance of both the high pitched whining and the spring cleaning somnabulant neighbors, I am free to focus entirely on my lack of work at the moment. And in this downtime, I thought I'd add some new pics to my website. Pics of plays I've performed in over the years.

Here's a link if you're interested. It was quite fun revisiting my old photo albums to pick out a few nostalgic shots. Not least because 2 of them feature the man who got my professional career into gear, the late great Bill Flynn. He introduced me to my first agent and I was fortunate to work with him on 3 occasions.

I miss Bill and the experience of being on stage. It was great to jump back in, albeit briefly, for the "50 Hour Drive-By" the other weekend. Stirred up my passion for performing. It's curious how rarely one gets to actually act in LA, since most time seems to be spent in the pursuit of work. Theatre instantly reminds one of what acting is about - the act of performing for other people. And there's nothing like the immediacy of a live play to bring it all home.

I'm hoping to get a picture from the recent festival, but in the meantime, here's a look at Gideon over the years. Try not to laugh...

Suppressing the Urge

How does one suppress the urge to kill? Most of us take a deep breath. Try to think of something else for a moment. But what if you can't? What if the very thing that's driving that urge is a high pitched tone that starts and stops every 30 seconds? What if you can't do anything about that tone because it's so disturbingly high pitched that you cannot identify the source - and thus cannot shut it off?

What if your ears are extra sensitive through lack of sleep? What if you've been woken up every night between midnight and 5am for the past 5 nights, because your crazy neighbor decides to his "spring cleaning" at that hour?

What if your anger from the high pitched wine and lack of sleep is exacerbated by the quote from your mechanic who informs you that you need $1200 of repairs on your transmission? And what if you spent $500 on a new alternator only a week earlier?

Is it wrong to kill if the opportunity presents itself?

Is it?

What if....?